"The fundamental job of a toddler is to rule the universe."
Tonight I loaded up our three younger daughters and left the boys at home to help out dad. We had a great friend ride up with us to the training. The training was called FLIP It and the presenter was Kim Polstein She was phenomenal. The audience was a mix of adoptive parents, kin gap, foster parents, and just parents working on trying something new with their child's challenging behaviors.
There are four points to Flip it: Feelings, Limits, Inquiries, and Prompts.
Here is where I got smart. Putting it in the front of my mind what I learned tonight I said.
And just like that is how you get outsmarted and beat by a four year old. There is hope though. It wasn't a melt down. She answered questions. I didn't say but. At the end she did make me laugh. Kind of hard. She is too darn cute. Hugs and kisses and off to bed she goes. Chalk this up to another night of kissing the wall. Thank goodness I love our kids. Tomorrow is another day.
With our children who have experienced trauma and have special needs, the use of traditional parenting skills just doesn't work. No matter time out, lecturing, sending them to their rooms or grounding them. In the end the only thing that it ends up doing is further adding to what has left scars on them internally and frustrating us as adults. We have attended many classes on this topic. It is something that together as a team in parenting we are trying to apply with our children. Still a very big learning curve for us as it is for them. In the long run we will get it. For now we might stumble and trip on the way down the path. Love lights the way, though and as cheesy as it sounds, I have to believe that it can do some real good in the world along with compassion and understanding.